she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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