we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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