that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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