Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
