Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize