Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
