My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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