I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
