butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize