matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
