So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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