you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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