so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
