There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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