I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
