He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
