haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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