The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize