i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
