I didn't shave. On purpose
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i barfeds in our rink
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
