Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
