I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
