I accidentally had phone sex last night
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
