YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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