dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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