Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
