I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
