I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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