Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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