Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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