the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
