I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize