He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
