i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
