Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
