You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
