god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
