I heard we made out
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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