Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
