In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
