I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
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