We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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