That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
