Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
