She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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