And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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