I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize