ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
