yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
