My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
