I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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