i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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