Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
