I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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