Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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