Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i think i have herpe
just one?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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