Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
