trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
