What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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