Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
