these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
