the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
