tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
